My memories are strong of our days together and how you made me feel. The family gathered together for what would have been your 9th birthday, in a beautiful cabin in Twain Harte. The cabin held us all, on three levels, each room full of noise and ski bibs, gloves and jackets, and the kitchen counters overflowed with food and snacks and fruit. I think it dawned on all of us throughout the weekend that this is the kind of family get together you loved most, when people all talked at once over the tv set and guitar music coming in from another room.
Avry and Summer were busy exploring and sledding and even went bowling with the older kids. Your aunt won $600 at Black Oak and you should have seen your daddy shoot down the hill on a sled and get stuck at the bottom. He had to be dragged out! And Tim and PJ and Lucy had the best snowball fight of all time!
From all over the house, every window, you could see beautiful trees and the moon was bright and the stars looked close enough to touch. Your Grandpa and Daddy spent time out looking for your star and feeling you close by.
The cabin is being made over, so lots of it is in the process of change. It struck me that this is the perfect place for us to be because we also are in the midst of change and trying to make our way without you. How hard it is to miss you and at the same time feel joyful that you are with God and He is celebrating you every day, right along with us.
Life's meaning is in having people to love. We put out tea lights on the deck in really big letters, big enough for them to glow all the way to Heaven. Did you see them? "We Love You, Aiyana" Did you see your mom made your favorite birthday dinner of meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and green beans?
No one would change the part of loving and made better by your beautiful spirit, but we long for you to have stayed with us longer, as long as love lasts, forever and a day. And just like the house, we will go from where we are to where we are meant to be, holding hands and loving each other just like you knew we would.
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A JOURNEY OF HOPE, LOVE, SPIRIT AND TRIUMPH
Purple Butterfly
Please click on to listen as you read (Return to Pooh Corner by Kenny Loggins)
Ribbons of Hope
YanaBug
Hercules
Grandma Faye and Yana
Yana's Life Miracle, as told by her big sister
I wanted to share a little bit of Aiyana's life with all of you so you understand why she is our family miracle.
March 6, 2001, Aiyana came into our lives. At one point during our Mom's pregnancy it looked like might be carrying twins. We all expected a very big baby ... and she was perfect with her dark brown curly hair and big brown eyes that were full of love, wonder and happiness. She overwhelmed our lives with joy.
She brought something out in all of us. I had been a big sister 3 times already but there was something different with her. It wasn't that I didn't love my brothers or sister, but I just wanted to be Aiyana's mommy, too.
Aiyana started to crawl and was getting very good at playing with stuff, but we noticed she didn't crawl like the rest of us: she would scoot on her bottom always on one side. Mom and Dad also noticed she wasn't utilizing her right hand when she played and it was in a tight fist. Right before her first birthday, our parents took her to the doctor and they did some tests and a catscan and discovered that more than half of the left hemisphere of her brain was empty space that had never developed. The doctors think that while she was growing in the womb Aiyana developed a blood clot that led to a massive stroke while her brain was developing.
The doctors said that Aiyana had cerebral palsy and started listing all of the things she WOULDN'T be able to do, like walk, talk, read and write ... the list went on and on. The family was crushed. I couldn't imagine my baby sister not able to run outside ... or dance ... or sing.
Physical therapy started immediately. They were teaching her sign language to communicate and all of a sudden 'daddy' and 'mommy' started coming out of her mouth, and then she walked one step, then another. And before you know it, she was running all over the house, talking, singing and dancing.
She continued to grow and continued to amaze us, each day drawing a line through the doctor's WOULDN'Ts. Because all of this occurred while her brain was developing, her brain re-wired itself to take over the undeveloped part. She got a little leg brace to strengthen it and a hand brace to keep her hand open. As time went on she continued to amaze us.
Aiyana had her first seizure about that time and it has been controlled with meds. Doctors cautioned that seizures will increase as she gets older, but again Aiyana just keeps trucking along. Eight years have passed and she excels at everything she does: riding her bike, break dancing, jumping and skipping, reading and writing. If you say CAN'T, she shows you she WILL.
Falling down doesn't keep Aiyana down, it does the opposite. She has never given up on anything she has done because she fights for it. Only God knows why things have come to this extreme point, but this spectacular girl is a miracle child and has defied all the odds.
For those of you who haven't met her, we hope it helps you see what we see, that Aiyana isn't giving up on this and every day that goes by she is showing us how to fight and keep our spirits up. We can't wait to dance with her again.
--Morgan
March 6, 2001, Aiyana came into our lives. At one point during our Mom's pregnancy it looked like might be carrying twins. We all expected a very big baby ... and she was perfect with her dark brown curly hair and big brown eyes that were full of love, wonder and happiness. She overwhelmed our lives with joy.
She brought something out in all of us. I had been a big sister 3 times already but there was something different with her. It wasn't that I didn't love my brothers or sister, but I just wanted to be Aiyana's mommy, too.
Aiyana started to crawl and was getting very good at playing with stuff, but we noticed she didn't crawl like the rest of us: she would scoot on her bottom always on one side. Mom and Dad also noticed she wasn't utilizing her right hand when she played and it was in a tight fist. Right before her first birthday, our parents took her to the doctor and they did some tests and a catscan and discovered that more than half of the left hemisphere of her brain was empty space that had never developed. The doctors think that while she was growing in the womb Aiyana developed a blood clot that led to a massive stroke while her brain was developing.
The doctors said that Aiyana had cerebral palsy and started listing all of the things she WOULDN'T be able to do, like walk, talk, read and write ... the list went on and on. The family was crushed. I couldn't imagine my baby sister not able to run outside ... or dance ... or sing.
Physical therapy started immediately. They were teaching her sign language to communicate and all of a sudden 'daddy' and 'mommy' started coming out of her mouth, and then she walked one step, then another. And before you know it, she was running all over the house, talking, singing and dancing.
She continued to grow and continued to amaze us, each day drawing a line through the doctor's WOULDN'Ts. Because all of this occurred while her brain was developing, her brain re-wired itself to take over the undeveloped part. She got a little leg brace to strengthen it and a hand brace to keep her hand open. As time went on she continued to amaze us.
Aiyana had her first seizure about that time and it has been controlled with meds. Doctors cautioned that seizures will increase as she gets older, but again Aiyana just keeps trucking along. Eight years have passed and she excels at everything she does: riding her bike, break dancing, jumping and skipping, reading and writing. If you say CAN'T, she shows you she WILL.
Falling down doesn't keep Aiyana down, it does the opposite. She has never given up on anything she has done because she fights for it. Only God knows why things have come to this extreme point, but this spectacular girl is a miracle child and has defied all the odds.
For those of you who haven't met her, we hope it helps you see what we see, that Aiyana isn't giving up on this and every day that goes by she is showing us how to fight and keep our spirits up. We can't wait to dance with her again.
--Morgan
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